so i've been neglecting this for a while

LIST OF THINGS I LEARNED THIS SUMMER (plus some bonus ones):

• not all HMV clerks are complete dickwads (the vast majority, though, is)
• if you go out to town wearing a shirt saying "STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" you're 300 % more likely to get offered drinks
• dunkin' donuts actually makes the best coffee
• I WILL NEVER FINISH READING THE CENTER OF THE WORLD
• hairdressers don't know the difference between 'androgynous' and 'lesbian'
• cd drives only work if you confront them with jonny craig
• men can get pregnant
• herman and seb are a gay couple - how cute!
• it should be illegal for board shorts to emphasize an ass this perfectly
• lemon ice cream tastes like shit
• even though you can buy thursday tote bags in frankfurt, you can't buy their CDs
  
• you can fit EVERYTHING into a thursday tote bag
• hippie headbands make people attractive
• butch dykes can smell fear
  
• if you bring foundation to camp, you're automatically the token bitch
• carrot-red and bleach blonde are normal hair colors, but auburn with strawberry blonde highlights is not
• if you don't cum, it's rape
• all emos are statistically bisexual vegetarians
  
• it's a lot easier to be jealous of a thirteen year old than i had previously estimated
• big stages make everyone look awkward
• all quiksilver clerks look like famous people
• if travelling northwards, there's a 60 % chance that your car will break down
• horror houses are a lot less scarier than you want them to be
• mice are a dollar at the little shop of horrors, whereas shirts are 25 bucks
• if you don't carry ten tons worth of clothes up the stairs you're automatically a fucking bitch
• rise against's fans are hot
• normal grandmas give you chocolate, whereas weird grandmas give you 10 dollars
• pulling all-nighters is a lot easier if you go outside during them
• JONNY CRAIG'S VOICE IS GOD (his voice, not the man himself. it's an important distinction)
  
• it's not gay, it's ~bromance
• everyone seems to know what 'mega lolz' means
• bert mccracken loves me
• quinn allman is a sexy motherfucker
• it's perfectly normal for kids to sit around outside writing microporn
• dan and quinn's fuck song is not about dan and quinn fucking
  
• it's not gay, it's ~bromance
• hot topic can be a real asshole at times
• 2nd degree burns hurt a lot more than it seems
• being smart equals not knowing anything about sex
  
• kids are the root of all evil
  
• the netherlands always write the best slashy books
• swine flu is a myth
• ice cream pizza sounds delicious, but tastes terrible
• i have the coolest dad ever
• listening to nazi-influenced music is normal, but liking skelanimals is sick
  
• the cake is a lie